I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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