whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
