question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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