She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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