a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
