I didn't shave. On purpose
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
