We won't sleep together?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is the high leading the old right now
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
