We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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