How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
