Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
