i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize