so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
