Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Two words: nipple clamps
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