it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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