Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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