walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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