Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
