You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
