She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
