okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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