this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Boobs are out for the taking
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
