He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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