We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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