You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
birth control should be required to get into college
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize