I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
