I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
