Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
