That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
