**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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