You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
