Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
