Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
