Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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