One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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