can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
