I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I smell like Dick and happiness
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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