i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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