My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
