I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
