My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
