Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
that may or may not have been my penis.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
