should my penis look like a turkey
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Let's paint friendship bongs
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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