so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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