U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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