Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
