Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
