I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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