If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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