I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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