All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
