Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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