I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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