That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
