wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
