I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
