i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
