I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
