I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
