Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
only if we run a train.
done.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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