im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize