im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
