Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize