i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
