i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
