She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
