Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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