he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
