You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
