think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
