Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
