That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
