I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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