im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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