margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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