Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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